…For my own sake

My prayer this morning:

I NEED to reconcile this whole “trust-issue” with You, God…

Your ways have proven hard, much harder than I ever would have chosen or said “Yes” to.  Help me come to the place where I can see the Greater Good, beyond the hard or the painful.  Help me see the Goal, the End Prize, the Promise above all the yuck.  Give me a “God-Perspective”.  Help me take off the “Molly-lenses” and trade them in for “God-lenses”.  Help me to come to the place where I can sing “If all I have is You, I’m okay, I’m okay.  If all I have is You, I’m just fine.” * and MEAN it — really mean it!

I cannot walk into who You have called me to be if I cannot settle this issue with You.  “Come now, let us reason together.” (Isaiah 1:18)  Your Word promises me that you WILL “reason” with me to help me in my time of need and NOW is that time, God.

Help me see that I can trust You.  Shift my focus off of fear and off of pain and shift it to You and to Your Perspective and to Your Light {because there is NO shadow or darkness of turning with You.)

I don’t even know where to begin because fear has a strangle-hold on me.  …but You know where I should begin and I am counting on You to keep Your hand over my mouth and to guide me, gently please, into a place that trusts you fully ~ the place that takes the focus off of “God led me to this place of pain — He allowed it…” to “God has sustained me in this place of pain — He has not left me to my own devices nor forsaken me.”

Only You can change my lens from broken to whole.

Your lens is Perfect and mine is riddled with Feelings and Mistakes — and Feelings and Mistakes will always, ALWAYS, lie to me.  Continue to show Yourself faithful to me.  I know You hear me; You have proven TOO MANY times that You hang on every word I say.  Help me change the “recordings” that play over and over in my head ~ “the chatterbox“.  Help me squash the “inner me” (the “enemy“).  {Yes, I’m a Furtick fan!} Help me let go of past hurts and mistakes — mistakes made by me and mistakes of others that affected me negatively.  I don’t want to be judged by my mistakes, so help me release others from their mistakes and not absorb them, thus allowing those mistakes to become ruling factors over my heart — over WHO I am…  Mistakes are just mistakes —   Help me to see them as such and help me to not be controlled by what others have done ~ MISTAKENLY (whether they intended to do it or not).  Help me to release them from their mistakes as I so desire to be released from mine.  Help me keep a view that sees mistakes as what they REALLY are ~ …Mistakes… 

That view can only come from You and Your lens.  Your Word tells me that You remember our sins no more FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.  Help me live the lesson in those words and remember no more the sins of others, that have affected me in hurtful ways, FOR MY OWN SAKEHelp me be whole. Help me be refined in the fire of pain.  You may have allowed me to be here, yes; but You HAVE held me close, even when I have kicked and screamed (which has been most of the time).  You have not thrown Your Hands up and said, “I can’t even with her.” and turned around and walked away.  You ARE ever faithful to Your Word and Scripture tells me in Numbers 23:19 that you cannot be anything BUT faithful to Your Word.

Help me put my trust in You and in Your unfailing, unbroken, LOYAL love for me

I despise my broken focus…and I cannot fix it…but YOU can and I will choose to put my trust in that.  (Now, I feel like Peter must have felt when he stepped out of the boat…terrified and, maybe, excited — but, mostly, sick to my stomach.)

Make me whole, God.  Sanctify me.  Consecrate me.  Circumcise all of the hardened, dead flesh from my heart and give me a BRAVE heart that only beats for You and Your ways, painful though they may be.  Most importantly, help me view all of my circumstances through You lens and not through mine.

Psalm 27:8 (NKJV) ~ When You said, “Seek My Face.”  My heart said to You, “Your Face I will seek.”

*Rita Springer ~ “I’m Okay” from her “Battles” album.  Here’e the link to this song that I am listening to, on repeat, until I can fully believe it:

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